Thursday, January 4, 2007

What I Want and Don't Want in a Church? Part 3

I don't want a church that focuses at the surface issues. Many churches are full of hurting, aching people who put on plastic smile just so everyone else thinks everything is a-okay. I have done that before. Someone asks, "How are you doing?" And I reply, "Okay," when everything really isn't okay.

I want a church that gets beyond surface pleasantries. I want a church that is real. I want to be able to share my doubts, fears, pains, struggles, and whatever else baggage I have. I want to help others get through their struggles. I don't want to know just to know for the sake of gossip. I want real, trusting relationships.

This is difficult and dangerous, but it could also be empowering and exciting.

4 comments:

Roy said...

Given what you want. how can you make that happen? What steps can you take to begin the process within the body where you worship?

Do you form a small group focused on prayer, fellowship and relationship? I have been in that model and it definitely helped the church. We were in our 20s and we had members who ranged from our age to a couple in their late 80s. We prayed and shared fellowship, that was it. 2x/month we got together and over time we grew much closer as a body. But that takes time.

Is that an option where you are?

bishopman said...

I would like that. Where I am now, I don't want the pastor to think I'm trying to take over. I would like to have an authentic group.

I hope something can be done.

Roy said...

Our church at that time (Wesleyan in Pierre, SD) literally went through the directory and numbered people 1-5 and assigned them to one of 5 groups. That was the genesis of our group and it was still going 2 yearslater when we moved away. From that awkward start, something good started.

We had one member whose husband was in a nursing home. When it was possible, our group would meet there so he could participate. It meant the world to her to go to church with her husband again.

It was simple, but God used it.

bishopman said...

From what I have heard and seen that is rare. Most established churches have a hard time setting up a working small group system. One of the problems is how to do it. Too many churches try to force it, as you mentioned in your blog. It also takes time for this to form, as you have also said, and most churches are not patient enough.