I am not a Plumber

To paraphrase the prophet Amos, I am not a plumber, nor the son of a plumber.

Last week, a knob on the bathtub broke. I ventured to a local big box home improvement center to purchase new knob. I shut off the water. When I tried to fix it, I noticed another piece that was broken. In the process, like an idiot, I tried to fix it anyway. When I turned the water on, and the whole thing shot out of the wall. I then ventured back to a local big box home improvement center to purchase the missing piece. They did not have the exact piece, so I got something "close." After trying to fix it, with a hacksaw involved. Again, the water goes on, and, again, the whole thing shoots out of the wall. It was like on the cartoons.

My wife says, "I'm going to call a plumber."

I said, "Okay."